6.08am - B's wake-up call, "Mummy i need a pee". I was hoping he might get a bit longer lie given his big day ahead, but i guess there's too much going on in his little head.
9.14am - We have a week of 12.30pm-3pm days, as a transition week. I start to wish we had a morning transition week, as we're just hanging around as there's not much time to do anything else, waiting til lunchtime and to get ready for school.
10.29am - We make a mad dash to the sports shop at the local retail park as I realise I don't have a drawstring-type tote bag for his gym kit. We get stuck at temporary traffic lights on the way back and I start to panic i'll not have enough time to make his lunch before school. Of course there is plenty of time, but I do tend to panic abit when i'm feeling anxious...
11.33am - As B has his lunch, I'm expecting his dad/my ex at the door any minute to come with us to school. We agreed he'd be here at 11.30am.
11.59am - Still no sign of B's dad and I'm getting seriously peed off at yet another of his later arrivals to meet B.
12.01pm - B's dad finally turns up just as B is about to get his uniform on, which then upsets the plan as he forgets about getting dressed to play with daddy. I'm seething as I knew this would happen, hence why I'd asked him to come a bit earlier.12.15pm - B's dressed and we're taking photos. Its funny how grown up he looks just by putting on a school uniform, even if the trousers need turned up and the jumper sleeves cover his hands! A proud moment, and I need to take a few long breaths to calm the nerves.
12.29pm - We arrive at the school and wait in the drizzle outside with the other first timers until the Head Teacher welcomes us and asks us to leave the little ones with them, letting us know we can come into the classrooms and take photos after their first day is over. I give B a kiss on the cheek and he's marches in quite happily with a teacher, giving us a wave as he goes. One of the teachers looks over at me and mouths "OK?" in a reassuring kind of way, which has the opposite effect and a few tears flow as B's dad and I walk back to the car, not quite believing I've just sent my little baby off to school.
Any sadness I feel is intensified as we drive home, as B's dad, my partner and husband for over 15 years, cannot find any words or comfort for me when I could have done with it the most, especially when he must have been feeling something similar as his little boy goes off to school. I wonder just how we could have become so distant, we are like strangers. I think of when Ben was born, and how I never could have imagined this warped reality 5 years on.
2.40pm Having re-applied some make-up to conceal the bleary eyes and red nose, I feel a bit calmer as we make our way back to pick up B. B is very happy to see us and shows us to his seat - he's at the purple table - and where his coat peg and tray are. We have a quick chat with his teacher, whom we hadn't met previously. She seems nice enough and I ask her what sort of thing they'll be doing with the wee ones in the next week. I look around, taking in as much as I can, still finding it hard to believe it's my little boy who's now a bona fide schoolboy.
4.15pm B is completely exhausted and after being quizzed by us as to what he's been doing on his first day ("can't remember/don't know" are key answers), he's been flat out on the couch for the past hour, watching a bit of telly and reading his beloved train magazine (although he has to give up on this as he's "just too tired to read"). Poor soul, I can't believe just how tired he is after 2 1/2 hours at school, but I guess its the nervous energy/excitement of the whole day that's taken its toll rather than any 'hard work'!
He says he's even too tired to eat his dinner, and just wants a sandwich and some grapes. Dinner as such is served, and he does perk up a bit while he's eating.
5.59pm I get him in the bath early in the hope I can get him in bed and asleep early too.
7.10pm He's got a bit of a second wind and is not winding down for bed. Typical! I am completely knackered now myself, and will be having an early night too, hopefully. We make sure his uniform is all neat and folded for school tomorrow, and sit on his bed to read a bedtime story, Charlie and Lola's "I am absolutely too small for school".I quite agree, Lola.
8.01pm All quiet. Not the early night I thought he'd have, but no tears or tantrums so I'm happy. I hope he has a good night's sleep, cos we have to do it all again tomorrow...
8.53pm Time to pour myself well-earned glass of vino and watch some telly before bed. Night Night.
No comments:
Post a Comment