I've written various posts on the subject, about how hard it is, the constant exhaustion, the emotional upheaval when B goes to visit his Dad, the frustratingly impossible task of looking for work which will fit in with childcare. I've also talked about what a gorgeous, funny, smart little boy I have and how he gets me through the tough days.
It is true there seems to be an assumption - by some - that single mums are lazy scroungers who ditched their unsuspecting partner in favour of a council house and income support. This is not only completely inaccurate for most single mums, but also incredibly damaging and hurtful (and yes, single dads don't seem to be tarnished with the same brush, something which Single Parent Dad amongst others has touched upon over on Netmums blog this week).
I wrote a post last year following the August riots across England which summed up my frustrations at some of these frankly ignorant myths about single parents:
Tuesday 16 August 2011
I have been as disgusted and shocked as the next person at the riots across London and other English cities last week. To my mind, nothing can excuse the complete lack of respect and responsibility from those who took part in the looting, fire-starting, etc. So I was interested to watch Panorama last night which was focusing on how to ensure this type of unrest on such a massive scale can't/won't happen again.
But I was left utterly furious at having to listen to various politicians who kept mentioning lone parents as a major factor for young people taking part in the riots.
Reasons for my fury:
1. Yes, there will have been some of those taking part who are from single-parent families, but there will also have been many rioters/looters who are from two-parent families.
2. Lone-parent families DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL disrespectful anti-social criminal behaviour. Conversely, two-parent families DO NOT ALWAYS EQUAL respectful, law-abiding citizens.
3. There are a huge number of lone parents up and down the country - and I am now one of those - who respect others property, who don't expect something for nothing, who know what is right and wrong and who instill that into their children too.
4. Not all lone parents choose that life for themselves and their children. They want to work and earn their place in society.
It is desperately de-motivating when you struggle on as a single parent, trying to do your best for your child, to think that you are immediately discriminated against, just for being in a situation you never thought you would be in nor would want to be in.
So please, politicians, or anyone else, please don't judge and generalise.
