A job? For me?

Yes, an actual job. Someone has offered me an actual paid job.

Woo Hoo!!

Now, it's not The Job, the one which will save me from the financial hole I'm rushing towards. But it WILL slow the rushing.

It's also not going to quite give me the fresh new challenges I'm looking for or get me completely away from what i was doing before (which is what i want), but it WILL give me fantastic experience in the sector I want to get into, it WILL get me meeting people and organisations which I hope will open up new opportunities a bit further down the road.

It's only 1 day a week, so it'll mean that I am not stressing myself stupid about fitting school-runs in with getting to work and back again.

And I hope, I really hope, it will boost my dwindling confidence, so I feel like I am worthy of being paid to work again.

So it's all good. I can't give up the job search quite yet, but it's a long-awaited small step in the right direction.

Yeh me!

Time to switch?

I think I need to go lie down for a while. I've come over all funny, like.









Cos I've just done something I've never done before, not even when I had 'another half' to do it with. Oh, that's sounds a bit odd. I should continue, and quickly.

Having agreed to a visit from an energy company salesman this morning, I felt I should do a wee bit of homework prior to his arrival so I would have some idea of what he was talking about. Or at least be able to fool him into thinking I knew my standing charges from my fixed savers. So I trawled the price-comparison sites last night, sought out Martin Lewis' advice, and dug out a bill to actually find out what tariff I'm on and what my usage is. (Is that really sad and pathetic that I didn't know what my tariff was? I blame it on the fact that my ex 'took care' of the energy bills, and I'm still catching up on "Stuff You Need To Know" as a single parent.)

So the nice salesman arrived - and yes, he was nice. Not 18 yrs old and wearing an oversized pin-striped suit and footballer's 'big tie' like the last salesman who came a-callin'. This one was a bit older, took his shoes off at the door (!), didn't push me to make a decision, just told me what options his company could offer and left me his number if I wanted to switch.

After a bit more research this afternoon, I found a tariff which met my needs and saved me a bit of money (which happened to be with my current supplier), I gingerly picked up the phone and switched.

Just Like That!

Now, that might not sound like a big deal, but for years we (and now I) never switched suppliers or tariffs as the thought of working out what is cheaper, easier, better in the longer term, cheaper in the short term, etc, just put us off doing it. Like a whole lot of other people. So for me, it was a big deal and I duly patted myself on the back. (Which is not easy to do, try it!)

No more will I stick with what I've got just to save hassle, when there's a chance of saving some much needed pennies.

I credit myself with having a reasonable amount of intelligence and common sense and I found the thought of going through the process a bit daunting. I am no political activist by any means but I support any political pledge which makes it easier for consumers to find cheaper deals, to actually switch suppliers, and for government to come down harder on the big energy companies, as has been touted this week.


Now for that lie down.

Bear-illiant

You know sometimes you find yourself laughing - or crying - at an ad on TV that you think really shouldn't be eliciting such strong emotions? It's only an advert, after all. And you look round at the empty room anyway to make sure noone's seen or heard you...

Clarence The Birds Eye Polar Bear is currently having that effect on me. The latest advert featuring Clarence (yes, that's his name!) where he finds all the other 'Clarences' in the freezer, looks at the camera in wide-mouthed bewilderment, then faints off his stool... it cracks me up every time!

But I'm obviously not alone, cos he's even got his own Facebook appreciation page. I'm currently waiting for B to finish a box of fish fingers so I can get enough tokens to order a real life Clarence for me him. Woohoo!

So here's to you, Clarence the Polar Bear, you make me laugh, and that's got to be a good thing!

 (and no, I'm not being sponsored by Birds Eye...)

Emotional rollercoaster

Do you ever feel like you've been on some kind of emotional roller-coaster all. day. long?

I've had one of those days. 

Started off with B in a foul mood, same mood he was in yesterday (no idea why, I'm putting it down to "starting school syndrome"), which meant he didn't want to get dressed for school, he didn't want to have breakfast, he wanted to pour the milk in his oatibix himself, he wanted to ... blah blah, you get the picture. So after 35 minutes of keeping calm and trying to reason with him, irritation and impatience took hold, stress levels ramped right up (they are permanently high these days so doesn't take much to tip them over the edge) and I lost my temper with him. Which only ever serves to rile him even more, so I had to wait a bit longer until he calmed down and eventually he got his face washed and clothes on in 5 minutes flat. And we weren't even late for school, a miracle!

So I dropped him off, all smiles, but the stress and irritation just morphs into real anger and frustration, at myself mostly, especially when I get to the supermarket for some shopping and realise I've left my purse at home. Grrrrrr. I scream a bit while sitting in the car, and rev the engine unnecessarily as I screech out of Morrisons carpark.


Eventually the high-energy anger tires me out, and it dissolves into a real lethargic melancholy at my 'miserable lot in life'. Yeh, this is the feeling-sorry-for-myself phase. After mooching about the house for an hour or so, kicking myself for staring at 'Homes Under the Hammer' instead of finishing a job application which is due in tomorrow, I find myself alot calmer again as I head out to pick B up from school at lunchtime, even hopeful that the afternoon will be alot happier and stress-free.

So peace returns as we run about the little park outside school for half an hour. Then we get home and B decides he doesn't want ham sandwiches for lunch, he doesn't want to wash his hands before lunch, he doesn't want to change out of his school clothes... and here we go again...

It's flippin' exhausting, this parenting lark, particularly when you don't have the other half of the parenting tag-team to let you have a break for a bit.

But then (and I know this is incredibly cheesy and corny, but it's sooo true) it gets to bed time, and I sneek a peek at him sleeping soundly, peacefully, next to the 'leaning tower of cuddly toys' precariously balanced next to him, and I know tomorrow will be a good day.

But there's always room for a little glass of wine (but not before actually finishing the job application...).

Goodbye Silent Sunday, I'll Miss You

Mourning the passing of Silent Sunday Linky - but fully supportive of reasons why - I still feel the need to post a photo today. It doesn't seem right not to!

Thankyou MochaBeanieMummy for good times!

Well, two photos to be precise, both very different, but some up the week.
(And unlike previous true Silent Sunday posts, I have allowed myself a few words, I hope I am forgiven...)

Awaiting first visit from the Tooth Fairy

9/11 remembered

Searching for the impossible?

As I carried out my weekly search through the incoming recruitment emails, scanning for jobs which I could feasibly apply for, I felt irritated at how unreasonable some employers are. I now realise that this feeling of unfairness rumbles inside me every time I search the job ads. But this feeling of being hard done by is not because there's nothing worth applying for, nor is it because I don't always have the necessary 'essential requirements' for those few interesting-sounding posts. It's not even because I'm limited in what I can apply for as I need to be looking for part-time work to allow for school timetable, etc.

No, it suddenly dawns on me that the reason I find myself tutting, sighing or stomping off in disgust when I do find an interesting, challenging, part-time post and my hope begins to rise, is because I very often see something along the lines of " working hours - 18hrs, but flexibility of working hours is essential" as part of the ad.

What's so unreasonable about a bit of flexibility, you ask?
Well, here's why I think it's unreasonable. Firstly, I'm looking for office-based work, most of which can be done within normal office hours. I'm deliberately not looking for sessional/community-based work which often does, by its very nature, need workers who can do unsocial or evening/weekend hours.

Secondly, I understand the nature of business and the need for flexibility to complete projects etc. But if you offer a job part-time, it should mean part-time. The number of people, myself included, who have worked so-called part-time hours and been paid part-time hours, but are expected to either fit a near-to-full-time workload into fewer hours, or be 'flexible' which usually means extended or longer hours than contracted to do.

Thirdly, and crucially in my mind, I suspect there is a huge number of part-time posts being applied for by parents (and perhaps I should do my research on this to back up these suspicions) who need to fit work around inflexible childcare commitments, hence the reason they are applying for the part-time posts rather than full-time.

So why do many employers offering part-time work - knowing that childcare commitment is a huge reason people are applying for part-time posts in the first place - then expect us to somehow be able to ignore these other commitments? And do appealing part-time posts which don't expect unreasonable flexibility, just not exist? I am beginning to think the answer to this second question is no, depressingly. Which means that the only options are doing a job which will not be stimulating or motivating enough, or getting a interesting role but be in a permanent state of stress worrying that you either can't commit to the extra hours asked of you, or trying to sort out additional childcare to allow you to do those extra hours.

I was watching a TV programme last week about the lack of work-life balance in this country compared to some other European countries. They interviewed one particular woman who suffered a nervous breakdown following years of working long hours combined with raising 3 children and keeping a home. Once recovered, she started her own business where a more 'positive flexibility' was offered, i.e. where parents are not frowned upon for taking a few hours off for a school performance or if a child is sick, where everyone understands the need to take annual leave within school holidays, and where leaving the office bang on 'home time' to do nothing else but spend some quality time with your children is genuinely encouraged.

But that business's  positive attitude to working parents is sadly in the minority, and so I resume my frustrating scan of job ads and recruitment emails in the hope that I might find something that suits both my skills/interest and my non-work commitments. Here's hoping...

Listography

From Kate Takes 5 Listography- Things I Did This Summer

1. I started blogging!! After much procrastination, I decided to give the whole blogging thing a whirl and see where it takes me... followed swiftly by all sorts of stress about am I blogging right? Am I blogging enough? Should I be commenting/following more bloggers? When the heck do I have time to do all this? etc etc. Still feel like a newbie blogger with lots to learn, but having great fun writing and reading along the way.

2. Got on an aeroplane for the first time in four years. Serious plane-o-phobia (don't know the correct terminology on that one...) since my late teens, for no particular reason. Tried various 'cures' over the years like hypnotherapy, self-help books, fear-of-flying course, but alas no Eureka moment has ever presented itself to take away the fear. So a big deal to fly after such a long time, and hey! I survived!!

3.  Celebrated my wee boy's 5th birthday and before catching breath, watched him turn into a BSB - that's a Big School Boy to the uninitiated... 2 1/2 weeks in to term, he's still not quite settled in yet, and I'm still coming to terms with the emotions and anxieties its raises within me. It's amazing the effect a polo shirt, trousers and a jumper can have on a mummy!

4. Applied for very few jobs as there are just not many of the suckers out there worth applying for - which meant I also continued to spend more of my redundancy payout to keep us ticking over. Hoping the autumn will bring more opportunities...

5. Spent lots of time with my boy: going for days out and the odd trip to the beach (what?! we had sunshine this summer?!), a couple of mini-breaks to York and Northumberland, little walks in the nearby woods, and just mucking about at home.

Phew! It's been a blast! x

Silent Sunday