teacher trouble or problem parent?

Today B's school had a P1 'Open Day' today. Actually, an Open Half Hour. Arranged for parents to come into the class with the children and for the children to show us around their workbooks and the classroom and the walls to see all the different activities they do and what they have been learning.

I also assumed this would be an opportunity to grab a few minutes with the teacher. Given B's new teacher is only 4 weeks into the job (after his original one went off on maternity leave), and because we haven't had a proper parents 1:1 since September, I thought this would also be an opportune moment (and the only chance we've had) to meet the new teacher and see how B is settling in with her.

B seems to like her, although the transition to the new teacher I think was difficult for him, understandably. And he has a little pal whom she used to teach in her previous school and reports from him were positive (or as positive as a 6 yr old can give).

So am I over-analysing or being overly sensitive to be slightly peeved that, on approaching the teacher during the Open 'Day' (there was no attempt from her to approach us) and asking generally about B, her first comment was "why, do you have a problem?" Why does she automatically assume there is a problem? Am I not entitled, as an interested parent, not to mention a council tax payer, to enquire as to my son's progress in school without the assumption that I am a difficult parent? This is only my second interaction with this new teacher, the first being equally defensive from her (in my opinion), and so I am not feeling entirely at ease right now.

And when she suggested that maybe she should have had a 'meet the parents/teacher' session when she first started, I had to bite my tongue as I had assumed this would happen but never did. Again, am I being too demanding of B's school/teacher? Is there no time for such 'luxuries' in today's curriculum for 'meet the teacher' opportunities?

I know in a few years time I will look back and wonder what I was getting my knickers in a twist about P1 for as there will be far more challenging times ahead I'm sure, but at the moment this feels important to me.

Silent Sunday

Reasons to be Cheerful Week 8

I feel I need some positivity courtesy of Reasons to be Cheerful, as I'm not feeling particularly positive at the moment. I am heading inexorably towards a huge black financial hole and I'm really starting to panic. Sometimes I feel like I could be doing more to better the situation, but my confidence feels completely shot again and it is holding me back. Most times, I feel helpless to improve this situation, which makes me incredibly frustrated. To make things worse this week, a good friend has had a close family bereavement.

So I think I need an injection of positivity. Here's why I should be cheerful this week:
1. I'm going out on a rare night out with some ex-colleagues tomorrow evening, which should include a few drinks, lots of laughs and some questionable singing at karaoke. Lookin' forward to it!

2. I am really enjoying my writing class, now half way through the ten week course. It's been really interesting and a great way to stir the creative juices and get some ideas flowing.

3. I have had really bad back and neck problems the last few months, and after a first visit to an osteopath last week, I definitely feel areas have improved. My neck and back are still bothering me, but at least now I know where I can go for some relief.

4. I got an offer the other day from the project I volunteer with, to do a one off assignment, something which I've never done before and will be brilliant experience. They could have asked lots of other volunteers to do it but they asked me, and it will be a great opportunity if it comes off.

5. This may be scraping the barrel, but there's a couple of TV programmes I like just about to start back up again which bizarrely makes me happy! Wot a saddo!

That's about it for now, I should re-read this a few times to brighten my mood.

Hop on over to Mummy from the Heart to see more Reasons to be Cheerful or blog-hop below.

The Gallery - Landscapes

This week's The Gallery over at Sticky Fingers was a tough one to choose which landscape to post. I did think about showing off Edinburgh (where I live just now) in all its glory, as I have plenty of shots to choose from, but I kinda have done that in other posts. I then trawled through some more 'exotic' shots of holidays (and when I say exotic, I mean European...), but they all felt a bit 'postcard-y', I wanted to find something a bit different.

So I have plumped for somewhere inbetween. These shots were taken on a rocky beach in Northumberland. It was B and I's first holiday away together on our own last year, and we had a fab few days. I would definitely go back there.

We stumbled upon lots of these strange stone structures which were dotted about all over the rocks. There were built purely by balancing stones on top of each other. It felt as if we were being challenged to stop and see what sort of structure we could build. 

Our effort, in the shot below, in the foreground. It may not have been the tallest or most elaborate of stone towers, but we put a little shell hat on it so we like it!

Blog-hop on over to Sticky Fingers to see some other amazing landscapes.

I need a translator over here!

On the way home from afterschool today I asked B the usual questions about what he did at school today. After the obligatory "can't remember"/"don't know" responses, he did finally tell me they had a special assembly because it was Pancake Day.

image credit: bbcgoodfood.com

 So, I asked, what did you learn about in the assembly about Pancake Day? How to make pancakes? Why Pancake Day exists? No, he says, and he then launched into an intruiging story which I am still trying to decipher...

B: "Well, there was a new man there"

Me: "A new teacher?"

B: "No, well maybe he was, but he wasn't Mrs H* and he wasn't Mrs J* and he wasn't Mrs M* so I don't think he was a teacher" (*names have been withheld to protect the innocent...)

Me: "There are other teachers in the school other than P1 teachers, so maybe he was a teacher?"

B: "Mmmm... *thinks for a few moments* I haven't seen him before in my class...but he told us a story about a man going to see Jesus (pronounced cheese-uss...) and the man climbed up a tree."

Me: "Why did he climb up a tree?"

B: "To see Cheese-us, silly! Cheese-us came up to the tree and he was up to there! *points up to his chest level* on the man, and then the man went with Cheese-us to his house for his tea, but he wasn't ready yet."

Me: "Wasn't ready for what?"

B: "Wasn't ready to go for his tea".

Me: "And then what happened?"

B: "um, the end."

Ideas, anyone?! I'm guessing some sort of Lent/Shrove Tuesday story, but I am none the wiser.

Perhaps that says more about my knowledge of the bible than it does about B's ability to recount the story... but it was a very enjoyable story nonetheless!

Oo, I could fair go a pancake right about now...

A week of two halves

So half-term is over and it's back to 'normality' tomorrow.

It's been a half-term of two halves for me. The first half meant I actually got to spend some time with B which didn't involve nagging him to get out the door at 8.30am for school, which I sometimes think is all I do! We got to lounge about in the house, playing silly games, rolling about on my bed, playing with his favourite cuddly toy cats. We went out and met a friend for a cuppa/juice and cake, went to the park, went out on his bike - hell, we even got to go to the beach (and it wasn't too cold...).

The second half of the week was very different. B went to his dad's and I was left scrabbling about trying desperately to fill the time so I didn't notice how empty the house feels without B there.

Apart from working thursday and my evening class on Wednesday, my attempts to busy myself failed somewhat, partly due to no-one being able 'to come out and play'. I regularly struggle with this in itself, going from resenting my friends for being too busy, to chastising myself for thinking like that, back to wondering why everyone has forgotten about me... these are in the gloomiest moments when I am on my own. This week, this happened on Thursday evening. A few glasses of wine probably didn't help, neither did catching up on Sky+ ER re-runs - god, I didn't remember so many episodes being so depressing!

At least I did get to speak to my wee boy every night via the mystical powers of t'internet/webcam, which made me smile for a few minutes.

And so the 4 'sleeps' without B plodded on, and I forced myself to go out on Saturday, to see the lovely George Clooney in The Descendants. So I guess it's not all bad!

And then to today, when I got my wee boy back again, along with a great big kiss.

Back to the school run tomorrow, earlier starts, rushed mornings, running to beat the school bell... my relief at getting back to normal again probably won't last too long when we're still floundering about at 8.37am tomorrow morning!

And I don't think B has got a proper grip on the 'permanence' of school yet, either. He asked me once again today, why he has to go back to school, cos he's "done school now". Yeah, ask me again when you're 17.

Silent Sunday

The Gallery - Embarrassing Outfit

I'm a bit late to The Gallery this week, but then I remembered this photo and thought it worth an entry.



Just to clarify, I am neither the cute little girl on the left, or the uncomfortable-looking guy in the middle (although he is wearing one of my old 'novelty' socks which I made into his bow-tie...).

So that leaves the creepy-looking Donnie-Darko-esque rabbit. Yep, I am in there. You may think it's cheating, as it could be anyone in there. But it is me.

If you have ever had the pleasure overly hot and itchy experience of being inside one of these kind of outfits (and let's face it, who hasn't?!), you'll know you rely on others to tell you what the hell's going on as you can't see a blinkin' thing. (Or maybe that was just me) So I didn't realise my head was on wonky. Gee thanks guys!

To clarify further, this is not how I usually get my kicks, dressing up as zombie-rabbits... We were staging a photoshoot for a Mad Hatters' Tea Party fundraiser when I worked for Save the Children.

Single Parents - Exploding the myths

Netmums are exploding the myths of single parents this week, and as one myself, I am keen to do my bit.

I've written various posts on the subject, about how hard it is, the constant exhaustion, the emotional upheaval when B goes to visit his Dad, the frustratingly impossible task of looking for work which will fit in with childcare. I've also talked about what a gorgeous, funny, smart little boy I have and how he gets me through the tough days.

It is true there seems to be an assumption - by some - that single mums are lazy scroungers who ditched their unsuspecting partner in favour of a council house and income support. This is not only completely inaccurate for most single mums, but also incredibly damaging and hurtful (and yes, single dads don't seem to be tarnished with the same brush, something which Single Parent Dad amongst others has touched upon over on Netmums blog this week).

I wrote a post last year following the August riots across England which summed up my frustrations at some of these frankly ignorant myths about single parents:

Tuesday 16 August 2011

I have been as disgusted and shocked as the next person at the riots across London and other English cities last week. To my mind, nothing can excuse the complete lack of respect and responsibility from those who took part in the looting, fire-starting, etc. So I was interested to watch Panorama last night which was focusing on how to ensure this type of unrest on such a massive scale can't/won't happen again.
But I was left utterly furious at having to listen to various politicians who kept mentioning lone parents as a major factor for young people taking part in the riots.

Reasons for my fury:
1. Yes, there will have been some of those taking part who are from single-parent families, but there will also have been many rioters/looters who are from two-parent families.
2. Lone-parent families DOES NOT ALWAYS EQUAL disrespectful anti-social criminal behaviour. Conversely, two-parent families DO NOT ALWAYS EQUAL respectful, law-abiding citizens.
3. There are a huge number of lone parents up and down the country - and I am now one of those - who respect others property, who don't expect something for nothing, who know what is right and wrong and who instill that into their children too.
4. Not all lone parents choose that life for themselves and their children. They want to work and earn their place in society.

It is desperately de-motivating when you struggle on as a single parent, trying to do your best for your child, to think that you are immediately discriminated against, just for being in a situation you never thought you would be in nor would want to be in.

So please, politicians, or anyone else, please don't judge and generalise.

Listography - Mugs!

Kate Takes 5 should feel no shame in her Mug-themed Listography this week.

 There's just something about mugs which becomes very personal. I  used to work with someone who would only use a mug with a particular shape and even thickness of china. Not because she was a member of the Tea Council or anything, just because that's how she liked her cuppa. Can't argue with that.


1. OK it may be an Easter cup, but it's a good mug for herbal tea or (if you look closely) hot water and lemon for when I have a dodgy tummy....

2. I think the perfect size and shape for a really good cup of tea. And as you can see from the design, it was given to me from B so another reason to love it.

3. I have never used this mug for it's original purpose of hot beverages, but it sits pride of place in the kitchen as it is a print of B's hand when he was a few months old.

4. B is really into Looney Tunes just now so a few weeks ago I dug this one and another out which had been buried at the back of a cupboard for some time. B loves them, needless to say.

5. These are my posh mugs, Royal Doulton, given to us (when there was an 'us') for a wedding present. I did think of shoving them up in the loft just because of what they represent, but annoyingly I really like them and they do make really good cuppas. So they are staying.

Head on over to Kate Takes 5 to add your own!

Silent Sunday

90 words from 90 bloggers

Kate on Thin Ice is supporting Breakthrough Breast Cancer by challenging 90 bloggers to write 90 words about an important woman in their lives.

I wrote a post last year on 26 August about my mum, and I think it's appropriate for this challenge. It's a bit more than 90 words but I'm hoping that doesn't disqualify me!

20 years

20 years ago today my mum died after fighting cancer.

I was 16, just about to start back at school. We weren't a close family in terms of 'sharing our grief', we each dealt with it in our own way, with our own friends for support. But we carried on, my dad carried on, and he has dealt with a lot of sh*t over the last 20 years on his own.

I don't go to visit her memorial stone very often. Sometimes I feel guilty for this, but I know that just because I don't stand in front of a bit of stone, doesn't mean I'm not thinking about her. I don't get morbid or sad too often nowadays, usually I think about her in terms of what she'd think of me or my own situation, whatever that may be. I wish she could have met B of course, but he will know about her, has seen her photos, knows she is up in heaven.

20 years. Forever loved, never forgotten. xx

“Pink Ribbon Bingo have pledged to support Breakthrough Breast Cancer all year round with 15% of the gross revenue accrued through online play on the site being donated to the charity.  Visitors also have the opportunity to donate a percentage of their winnings directly to the charity.  Along with the fundraising element, Pink Ribbon Bingo and The Daily Mail online will be helping the charity to raise awareness by promoting their vital health messages such as TLC (Touch, Look, Check).“

Manic Monday

Mondays. I knew this Monday was going to be a Bangles-tastic* Manic Monday.

Order of play was:
8.43am Drop B at school (almost late as usual, this time due to forgetting about extra time to scrape the frost off the car)
8.55am Head straight to my volunteering stint at a local Community Health project, setting up for the Messy Play group.
9.45am-11am Make playdough, blow bubbles, and generally mess about with the kids. Great fun, but extremely exhausting!
11am-12.15pm Clean up! (it got particularly messy this week, with a very full house!)
12.15pm Drive straight to work (mondays not a work day normally) for an extra hour haring around preparing for a big meeting (today).
1.45pm Skidaddle out of work not having done everything I needed to, have 5 minutes at home to go pee, make a sandwich, pick up B's scooter and head out to to get him from school at 2.30pm, sandwich necked on the 10 minute walk there.

So, 2.30pm arrives, and I feel my headless chicken/stress levels begin to decrease as B's cheeky face appears out of school. We pop in to a friend's house on the way home, B having some play time and me some grown-up chat and a nice cuppa. Sigh. All good...

Then Manic Monday returns with a vengeance.

Oh yes, all is well (as well as it can be in a house with four school friends running about on a post-school high) until we hear a very strange and disturbing groaning sound coming from one of the kids, who it turns out to be B. He is hobbling into the living room, barely able to breathe bar this weird groaning. He then says he can't stand up properly and feels sick, as I watch the colour drain from his face (and he's a wee peelly-wally** like me at the best of times...).

He has apparently slipped on the stairs and fallen back, smacking the top of his back on the edge of the stairs.

The continual groaning and tingling in his arms and legs now has me really freaked out, I phone the gp and they advise me to take him to A&E. So I lift him into the car, plastic bag to hand in case he barfs, and we leg it to the hospital.

I'm vaguely aware when I put money in the parking meter near the hospital that the ticket is reading the wrong date and time and I silently dare any parking attendant to give me a parking fine.

I carry B into A&E and we sit and wait. Slowly, the colour returns to his face, and he can stand up by the time the triage nurse sees us.

When we're seen by the doctor an hour later, B is definitely on the mend, but the doctor assures me that I did the right thing bringing him in given it was an injury to his back. B actually seems to enjoy the funny bending and stretching exercises the Doc gets him to do, to check movement, etc.


And as for what the reflex hammer thingy does, "it's like magic!"




Assured there is no significant damage to his back bar some bruising, we take our tired and hungry selves home, by this time well past bath time. B's appetite not diminished (a good sign!) he scoffs some home-made  quicky macaroni, a quick face-wash and into bed. I didn't last too much longer and followed suit.

No more Manic Mondays, please. My friend also reminded me it was a full moon last night too...

* I will feel really old if you don't know Manic Monday by The Bangles...
** a good ol' Scottish phrase meaning pale. 

Smart Boy

Ah, you gotta love the little one-liners your offspring come out with, dontcha?

Case in point 1:
We're at the park today playing frisbee (yes, lots of the UK did NOT have any snow today, BBC!!), and as we go to leave in the car, I realise that two cars have pretty much boxed me in, one of them literally touching my front bumper. and there's loads of spaces so no need for this. grrrr. but I only tut and say nothing.

"IDIOT!" pipes up B.
Me, slightly taken aback by B's ferocity: "That's not really a nice thing to call someone, is it?"
B: "But you call other drivers that all the time when you're driving."

Hmm. Can't argue with that.


Me: "Well we really shouldn't call people 'idiot'".

Cut to several minutes later when I have to bump both cars in order to get out of the space.

Me: "You're right B, they're idiots".
B: "See, I told you".

Smart boy.


Case in point 2:
After a fun afternoon, B gives me one of his best cuddles and says:
"When I grow up, can I marry you?"

Forget the oedipal/freudian overtones, who can argue with that?!

He must NEVER change...

Dear So and So...

Oof, I know it's not supposed to be good blogging etiquette to do too many Linky's in a row, but have been wanting to join in Dear So and So over at 3 Bedroom Bungalow for ages and usually leave it too late.


So forgive my blogging folly.













Dear Lady at Sainsbury's checkout - Part I
I know I look younger than my years, and I know that my new fringe and lack of makeup this morning may have made me look younger, but did I really not look old enough to buy a bottle of wine?! Surely one good thing about being ... *gasps* 37 ... is the fact I don't have to worry about being ID'd?? Apparently not it seems. And as for your colleague thinking I look "at least 18, if not 25"... gee, thanks.

Yours in bewilderment, Legitimately Allowed to Consume Alcohol

* * *

Dear Lady at Sainsbury's checkout - Part II
On the flip side of being ID'd for buying a bottle of wine, I should also thank you for thinking that I may not be old enough to buy said bottle!

Yours smugly, Way Older than you Think

* * *

Hey you, groups of high school kids walking past B and I
OPEN YOUR FLIPPIN' EYES! Every single Friday, at least one of you fails to see us coming towards you - even when you seemingly are looking right at us, WHAT IS THAT ABOUT?! - and trips over us. TAKE YOUR TEENAGE BLINKERS OFF!!

Yeh Cheers, Your fellow Pavement users

* * *

Dear Cold Virus
OK, time to beat it. And don't think you can slink your way into B on your way oot the door either.

Yours, Spaced out and Blocked up

* * *

Dear B
It's Friday teatime, i'm missing your wee face already. You'd think nearly 2 years on I'd be used to this arrangement. Apparently not. Can't wait to see you tomorrow wee yin!

Mummy xxx

* * *

Dear Bathroom
If I leave the Cif Power Cleaner out, any chance of giving yourself a clean? I got better things to do tonight, like catching up on Sky+ stuff. Much obliged.

Yours in blind hope.

* * *

Reasons to be cheerful - Week 5

I turned 37 last December, and today was shocked to have my very first "oh-my-god-I'm-nearly-40-what-have-I-done-with-my-life" moment, as I sat in the hair salon looking at an article in one of those 'in trend' magazines (the ones with way more adverts than articles) about all these uber-successful woman much younger than me.

So I think I need to stop and do a bit of Reasons to be Cheerful before I start to panic.
Reasons to be cheerful right now:

1. B has not (yet) picked up my hideously stuffy cold which has had me spaced out for several days.

2. I had my hair done today and it was 40% off in a promotion.

3. A year after being made redundant, I now know what it is I would like to do, career-wise. (Have no idea how to get there, but first things first).

4. I am still in love with my new bed and still look at it and marvel at how I put it together all by myself!

5. I actually finished reading a book which wasn't self-help/parenting/separation guidance/work related.

6. I know it's frrrrrreeezing out there, but I love it when it's really cold but bright and sunny like it's been here the past few days. Perfect winter weather.


That'll do me just now.

Blog-hop on over to see others...

The Gallery - Me Right Now

Sticky Fingers' photo challenge this week for The Gallery, Me Right Now.



As I have a STINKING cold - one of those ones where you feel you have cotton wool stuffed inside your brain, but still your nose keeps on running - I will not subject anyone to a photo of my luminous red nose that would make Rudolph jealous. And eyes, red, tired, etc.

What I have just been doing, in the hopes that I will feel well enough to go to my writing class tonight, is finishing my homework assignment. 1000 words to introduce a memorable character, what problem(s) they face and how they might overcome it/them. Between getting through almost a whole box of tissues. These ones have menthol on them, which would be good if I could smell a damn thing.

Also have just finished reading Michael Morpungo's War Horse, which was on our class reading list. Not sure I will go see the film, however, it was harrowing enough reading it. Would definitely need to take the next box of tissues with me if I went...