Morning routine

My bedroom. A place of peace and tranquility. Of calmness, serenity. A sanctuary, to use a cliche, to escape the higgledy-piggledy, toy-infested rooms that exist just beyond the door.

Well... maybe that's what it looks like before I go to bed, but in the morning, it's a different story...

 When B gets up in the morning, he comes through to my bedroom. If I'm lucky, he might actually snuggle in the bed, alongside various furry animals and his favourite pillow, for all of, 5 minutes, before the business of the morning begins. And that business is very busy, let me tell you. It usually involves lots of trains, lots of cars, and lots of cuddly toys. All laid out meticulously, in as many nooks, crannies and corners of my 'sanctuary' as is possible, including my bed where I am still half-asleep.

 I listen to him go about his busy business, setting up his furry cats who today are all on the train platform watching the trains go by into Waverley station. 

This morning we also had an off-road course for mega-trucks and a quadbike. Before I get out the bed, I am always part of these assault courses, and woe-betide me if I move and upset the course.

And of course, being so busy makes little people hungry, so there is the obligatory food stop, usually a banana followed by a bit of toast. And that's before breakfast.

Muggins here usually has to clear it all away at some point during the day, and I always find a random train carriage, or double-decker bus (or worse, rogue bit of banana!) several days/weeks later, tucked away in an unseen corner.

I wouldn't have my mornings any other way!



Head over to The Gallery for more Morning photos.

Sleep is for the weak

Why don't kids know when they really could do with an early night?! B has a cold and a cough, which woke him up about an hour too early this morning, up well before 6am and didn't go back to sleep. Man, it's seems like an age since i've done the 5.30am starts, I'm used to the clock at least reading 6 and not 5...

A Police Owl...

And then he had a really busy day in school today. The whole year had their much-anticipated, much-practised P1 assembly, which involved each class doing a little song and mini 'scenes' detailing some of the themes they've been learning this year, for all the parents to come and watch. B's big moment was as a policeman as part of 'night and day - jobs that are done in the day and in the night'. He'd been practising his big line for a few weeks now "I am a policeman and I work at night and in the day" and he carried off with much aplomb, if I do say so myself... (hey, I don't think I've ever used aplomb in a sentence, go me!) He then got to be an owl (nocturnal animals, dontcha know), but he still had his policeman's hat on so we had an owl policeman which was very amusing... I was a very proud mummy today.

On a Tuesday he also goes to afterschool club while I'm at work, usually until about 5pm. Even on a normal day, he's pretty beat at the end of the day. So I thought I'd pick him up a little early, so we could do tea, bath and bed a little early too. His sniffles and cough were still  evident when we got home so I was glad he'd be in bed a bit earlier. Fast forward to bedtime, in bed nice and early (but not too early, no point in that!), story and cuddles. I was feeling very pleased with myself. Fast forward until now and he is still not asleep, muttering and singing to himself and not sounding like he's ready for sleeping. And it's no earlier than normal, in fact maybe even a little later. 

Sheesh, doesn't he know he needs an early night?!

Linking up with Just Write at The EO.

My Small Stuff

Inspired by Letters from your Mum, who was in turn herself inspired by Is there a Plan B?, I've been thinking of my Small Stuff, the stuff that's not supposed to be important, but in reality it's the stuff that matters the most.

Is there a Plan B? quotes from Bob Crampton from The Guardian:

The small stuff, ..., that you think is the small stuff,  

and then you get older and realise that the small stuff is what actually matters. 

So here's just a small selection of mine:

A good mood day, i.e. a cold clear day with warm sunshine.

B doing his repertoire of funny faces. B watching himself in the mirror doing his repertoire of funny faces. B doing a really good impersonation of his little friend's Yorkshire accent and not realising he's doing it. B's delight every morning at seeing his friends in the school playground, as if he's not seen them for ages, but it's been less than 24 hours. 

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A double or triple rainbow, but I'll take a single one too. The orange night sky just before it snows. The silence of falling snow.

Suddenly noticing the vastness of a clear sky at night. Picking out all the stars, but not knowing any of the constellations. Using my new star-map app to spot in which direction the planets lie. Pointing out Venus and Jupiter to B and competing to see who is the most excited and in awe of being able to see actual planets!

The first trip of the year to the beach, usually when it's not quite warm enough to take your coat off. But sandcastles still get built and ice-creams still get licked. Then every trip to the beach after. Going for a walk along the sea-shore, shoes and socks off, having forgotten the feeling of the sinking sand and cold sea on your bare feet. Clambering up a big bank of sand, then running back down again.

Cuddles from B.

The words 'heebie-jeebies' and 'nincumpoop' (no, I didn't just make them up now).

Viggo Mortensen. Hugh Jackman. Not in any particular order.

Drinking sparkling wine from proper champagne flutes.

Waking up thinking it must be time to get up and the clock reassures me I've got another hour of snooze-time. Waking up to B's padding feet and a 'Good mornin' cheeky little face right next to mine. Getting that same wake up call when it's later than 7am (that one is a rarity, sadly. But one day...)

Being complimented by friends.

Watching B do a rolie-polie down a grassy bank.

Ticking off jobs on my to-do list. Writing nice tasks in my to-do list like 'book holiday' or 'arrange lunch with ... friend'.

Image Credit: tomstuart.org

Clambering on climbing frames with B. Still being able to clamber on climbing frames.

Playing Hide and Seek. Playing B's version of Hide and Seek where he tells me where he's going to hide. Or when he hides in the same place I've just hidden. His face when he finds me (especially if it's been a "really good hide place")

The smell of washing when it's been line-dried outside. My pink ugg slippers. Garlic bread. Daffodils.

* * *

I could go on. And on. Once you get going, the list of small stuff is endless. And it'll leave you in the best mood!

What's your Small Stuff?

Emotional rollercoaster

Do you ever feel like you've been on some kind of emotional roller-coaster all. day. long?

I've had one of those days. 

Started off with B in a foul mood, same mood he was in yesterday (no idea why, I'm putting it down to "starting school syndrome"), which meant he didn't want to get dressed for school, he didn't want to have breakfast, he wanted to pour the milk in his oatibix himself, he wanted to ... blah blah, you get the picture. So after 35 minutes of keeping calm and trying to reason with him, irritation and impatience took hold, stress levels ramped right up (they are permanently high these days so doesn't take much to tip them over the edge) and I lost my temper with him. Which only ever serves to rile him even more, so I had to wait a bit longer until he calmed down and eventually he got his face washed and clothes on in 5 minutes flat. And we weren't even late for school, a miracle!

So I dropped him off, all smiles, but the stress and irritation just morphs into real anger and frustration, at myself mostly, especially when I get to the supermarket for some shopping and realise I've left my purse at home. Grrrrrr. I scream a bit while sitting in the car, and rev the engine unnecessarily as I screech out of Morrisons carpark.


Eventually the high-energy anger tires me out, and it dissolves into a real lethargic melancholy at my 'miserable lot in life'. Yeh, this is the feeling-sorry-for-myself phase. After mooching about the house for an hour or so, kicking myself for staring at 'Homes Under the Hammer' instead of finishing a job application which is due in tomorrow, I find myself alot calmer again as I head out to pick B up from school at lunchtime, even hopeful that the afternoon will be alot happier and stress-free.

So peace returns as we run about the little park outside school for half an hour. Then we get home and B decides he doesn't want ham sandwiches for lunch, he doesn't want to wash his hands before lunch, he doesn't want to change out of his school clothes... and here we go again...

It's flippin' exhausting, this parenting lark, particularly when you don't have the other half of the parenting tag-team to let you have a break for a bit.

But then (and I know this is incredibly cheesy and corny, but it's sooo true) it gets to bed time, and I sneek a peek at him sleeping soundly, peacefully, next to the 'leaning tower of cuddly toys' precariously balanced next to him, and I know tomorrow will be a good day.

But there's always room for a little glass of wine (but not before actually finishing the job application...).

Another Big Day

Big day today, B's First Day at School. Went something like this...

6.08am - B's wake-up call, "Mummy i need a pee". I was hoping he might get a bit longer lie given his big day ahead, but i guess there's too much going on in his little head.

9.14am - We have a week of 12.30pm-3pm days, as a transition week. I start to wish we had a morning transition week, as we're just hanging around as there's not much time to do anything else, waiting til lunchtime and to get ready for school.

10.29am - We make a mad dash to the sports shop at the local retail park as I realise I don't have a drawstring-type tote bag for his gym kit. We get stuck at temporary traffic lights on the way back and I start to panic i'll not have enough time to make his lunch before school. Of course there is plenty of time, but I do tend to panic abit when i'm feeling anxious...

11.33am - As B has his lunch, I'm expecting his dad/my ex at the door any minute to come with us to school. We agreed he'd be here at 11.30am.

11.59am - Still no sign of B's dad and I'm getting seriously peed off at yet another of his later arrivals to meet B.

12.01pm - B's dad finally turns up just as B is about to get his uniform on, which then upsets the plan as he forgets about getting dressed to play with daddy. I'm seething as I knew this would happen, hence why I'd asked him to come a bit earlier.

12.15pm - B's dressed and we're taking photos. Its funny how grown up he looks just by putting on a school uniform, even if the trousers need turned up and the jumper sleeves cover his hands! A proud moment, and I need to take a few long breaths to calm the nerves.

12.29pm - We arrive at the school and wait in the drizzle outside with the other first timers until the Head Teacher welcomes us and asks us to leave the little ones with them, letting us know we can come into the classrooms and take photos after their first day is over. I give B a kiss on the cheek and he's marches in quite happily with a teacher, giving us a wave as he goes. One of the teachers looks over at me and mouths "OK?" in a reassuring kind of way, which has the opposite effect and a few tears flow as B's dad and I walk back to the car, not quite believing I've just sent my little baby off to school.

Any sadness I feel is intensified as we drive home, as B's dad, my partner and husband for over 15 years, cannot find any words or comfort for me when I could have done with it the most, especially when he must have been feeling something similar as his little boy goes off to school. I wonder just how we could have become so distant, we are like strangers. I think of when Ben was born, and how I never could have imagined this warped reality 5 years on.

2.40pm Having re-applied some make-up to conceal the bleary eyes and red nose, I feel a bit calmer as we make our way back to pick up B. B is very happy to see us and shows us to his seat - he's at the purple table - and where his coat peg and tray are. We have a quick chat with his teacher, whom we hadn't met previously. She seems nice enough and I ask her what sort of thing they'll be doing with the wee ones in the next week. I look around, taking in as much as I can, still finding it hard to believe it's my little boy who's now a bona fide schoolboy.

4.15pm B is completely exhausted and after being quizzed by us as to what he's been doing on his first day ("can't remember/don't know" are key answers), he's been flat out on the couch for the past hour, watching a bit of telly and reading his beloved train magazine (although he has to give up on this as he's "just too tired to read"). Poor soul, I can't believe just how tired he is after 2 1/2 hours at school, but I guess its the nervous energy/excitement of the whole day that's taken its toll rather than any 'hard work'!

He says he's even too tired to eat his dinner, and just wants a sandwich and some grapes. Dinner as such is served, and he does perk up a bit while he's eating.

5.59pm I get him in the bath early in the hope I can get him in bed and asleep early too.

7.10pm He's got a bit of a second wind and is not winding down for bed. Typical! I am completely knackered now myself, and will be having an early night too, hopefully. We make sure his uniform is all neat and folded for school tomorrow, and sit on his bed to read a bedtime story, Charlie and Lola's "I am absolutely too small for school".
I quite agree, Lola.

8.01pm All quiet. Not the early night I thought he'd have, but no tears or tantrums so I'm happy. I hope he has a good night's sleep, cos we have to do it all again tomorrow...

8.53pm Time to pour myself well-earned glass of vino and watch some telly before bed. Night Night.

Where's the Sleep Mode button?

Forget linking my blog to facebook, twitter or whatever, I need a link to my brain so I can add a 'Sleep Mode' button, to shut my brain off! For the past week since I started setting up my blog and writing on it, my mind will not shut down from 'Blog Mode'. i.e. thinking everything the way I would perhaps blog it. It's been particularly bad at night when I really need to be sleeping, especially since my own personal "Alarm Clock" comes through and demands attention at some ridiculously early hour of the morning...

[This morning's alarm ringtone went like this: 
B: "Mummy, I've pulled my duvet into the hall, its an underwater sea, jasper and snowy (cuddly toys) have fallen in you need to save them". 
Me: "Once I'm awake". 
B: "Pretend you're awake now". 
And so on...]

One of the stricken toys before its underwater mishap

I even thought through this post - about not thinking too much about blogging - at Stupidly-late o'Clock last night. I'm sure it'll calm down once I'm used to the whole blogging thing, but for now I'll need to not post anything just before bedtime so I have some 'non-blogging' down time before sleep-time!

Sheesh, and I thought this blogging lark would be relaxing! x